2016/09/19 Your awkwardness is the manifestation of your sincerity.

One of the teachers the class of whom I took in the last semester told me, when we were talking about the reason why I had given up being a clinical psychologist, that my awkwardness was, he thought, the manifestation of my sincerity.

By the word "awkwardness" he seemed to mean the way I spoke in his class. As the students were asked to give a comment about the lecture toward the end, we had to improvise comments or questions on the spot. And as is usually the case with me, words failed me many times in the class. Though I had something to say, but I didn't know how to express it with words. He made fun of me once when I tried to speak but didn't manage to make a clear comment. This awkwardness has been my concern through the last semester, for how can a man awkward with words be an expert with words, namely, a philospher?

Before the teacher told me so, I had thought that my awkwardness was due to inexperience as a student of philosophy. And the thought was an impetus for committing myself to study. So, that remark of his somehow came near depriving me of it. It was disgusting. Now one of the reasons I am applying myself to the study is that I want to prove him wrong. My awkwardness is the manifestation of my inexperience, and time and effort will be the cure for it.