As the previous entry above shows, about two weeks ago, one of my pets died. He was a Shih Tzu.
Coming back to parents' house, I have experienced the pet loss several times. Since my body is habituated to searching for him when I am at parents' house, I looked for him several times only to be faced with the fact that he is not there. This reminded me of a passage of a philosopher, Merleau-Ponty. He says something like this: You know the loss to the same extent as you try to ignore the fact, and the moment the world hides the loss from you, it also discloses it to you. The word "the world" means here the way of being in the world. Even after I knew that he was dead, my way of being in the world remains unchanged, so that my body cannot help behaving the same way as it had done: as if he were still there. But the result of the bahavior has already changed because I cannot find him. So my body is prevented from acting as it did, and I am confronted with his loss.