2016/12/07 The distance between English and me

soloj-ws.hatenablog.com

This entry has made me wonder if I find it fun to study English now. No doubt the blogger sincerely feels it fun (or interesting) to study English. It is her sincerity that made me think about the question and I am writing this entry now.

I used to be interested in studying English, yes. But I seem to have long forgotten the eagerness and the aspiration with which I applied myself to English in my teens. Now I have none of them. But I study English as hard as ever.

Then, another question comes in, "Do you study English because it is your duty?" No, a thousand times no. When I am studying it, I don't feel there is as big a distance as there might be if I felt it my duty. We, English and I, are more "intimate."

Then, still another one comes up: "Is English part of your life?" This one is really intriguing. Suppose you are doing a certain thing. You don't feel it fun, nor your duty. Then, it seems to follow, it is part of your life, such as changing clothes, eating lunch and so on. It does seem this way. But there is felt to be a bigger distance between the language and me than if it were part of my life, for I cannot fully understand native speakers when they talk in English. In this case, we are less intimate.

So, how can I call this felt distance between English and me? Not fun, nor a duty, nor part of my life. Or it can be put another way. What the language English and the study of  it mean to me? This I have to consider. But not in this entry. It's time for some parts of my life and duties: shaving, changing clothes, going to work. These are no fun.