When I was younger, at the age of about fourteen specifically, I had a dream. It was to get old quickly and retire from active life.
I lived so far away from school that it took me 90 minutes just to go to school and I had to get up at around 5:30 a.m. Every morning a herd of workers pushed me in their struggle for a vacant seat on the train. From time to time, there used to be a fight between them. This life had worn me out to the extent that I would never be one of them and wished I could be old quickly, without the trouble of the first-hand experience of the weary life of adults. But as it is, I came of age, graduated from the university and worked full-time for a company. The life of a full-time worker, though I escaped from it quite shortly after its commencement, was not so unbearable. Surprisingly, while I was one of them, the workers, I was competent in my own right. There were even times when I found myself enjoying it.
Looking back on those times, there seems to be no other way of living worse than that. One of the professors of the graduate school said that humans are capable of finding happiness under the least happy circumstances. "Therefore, we must not content ourselves with subjective feeling of happiness. We should never say it's fine as long as they feel happy. Human beings can sometimes forget objective welfare that should be entertained by them, as slaves tended to fail to see what a hardship they were placed in." I sometimes wonder if I was a slave at that time, for whom the objective welfare had gone into the oblivion.